Unvelope - The Art & Soul of E-Cards

Pick Up

This Calls for an Apology

This Calls for an Apology

You've done it again. You had a not-so-wonderful thought about someone close to you, and suddenly you heard yourself say it out loud for her to hear. "If only there were a rewind button," you think. You may not be able to retrieve those words and put them back into your mouth, but you can speak a few more words to make a bad situation better. You can apologize.

I know. Saying, "I'm sorry" is hard. In fact, it can be downright embarrassing. You can try to convince her that she's overreacting to what you said, and that it was all a joke, but that will not get you a smile or the forgiveness you want.

Here are some apology strategies that will bring success:

1. Look her in the eye, and tell her you are so sorry that you said something so hurtful to her. Mirror her opinion that there was nothing funny about the remark you made — and mean it.

2. Take your cue from her. If she tells you to leave her alone in that moment, leave her alone. Let her have her anger and her hurt. Don't try to instantly comfort her with a hug; that might make things worse because, now not only have you said something stupid, you're disregarding what she says she wants. Go off and plan your apology for later. You might opt for sending flowers or a handwritten note that shows you take your offense seriously. Do not send a text message if you really want to make amends.

3. Try humor to win a second chance. You could show up at her door with a cracked egg on your face or wear a "Kick Me" sign.  You might send a funny ecard that permits you to apologize, but not lose face. Some of the best apology cards can be found at unvelope.com under the "Do Over" series.

Most importantly, realize that in the future you can think what you want but stay silent. Women want men to apologize when it is warranted, but mainly they want men to act in such a way that they have no need to say, "I'm sorry."